I've Been Busy, Apparently

It's been a while since I've updated my Life List - I went today to update the 5K goal, since I completed it (however slowly) this weekend, and stumbled across quite a few other achievements that I've neglected to mark:

• I'm now up to 14 states visited out of 50...so not a completed goal, but one where progress is being made. I'm now at: Alabama, Alaska, Florida, Georgia, Maine, Maryland, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia.
• I colored my hair red earlier this year and loved it. Plan to do it again soon.
• I have paid off all three of my credit cards, and am now credit card debt-free (still working on those student loans!)
• Ran the 5K this past weekend in Maine.
• This year, I gave up red meat for Lent, and stuck to it.

An honorable mention - one of my goals is to meet a celebrity, ideally Patrick Dempsey. Even though I didn't officially meet him (and so the goal stays unfinished for now) ... I came pretty close! I'll start posting the recaps of my weekend in Maine later today...I've already written up most of the race day events.

The Maine Event

I have had the best weekend ever. Why? Because, I not only saw, but was *this* close to Patrick Dempsey. I didn't get to officially meet him or speak to him, but I was seriously less than a foot away (no really, I almost got plowed down by him and his security staff), and witnessed two moments that have given me an all new respect for this man. Did I mention how close I was?

Oh, hi there, blog.

I kind of forgot about you for a month. What have I been up to, you ask? Oh, a little of this, a little of that.

Work has finally slowed down some in terms of student flow, but there's been no shortage of drama, of course. I was "in charge" for two days last week, and thankfully no major problems arose; I dislike being the go-to person.

Of course, I'm still in grad school, and while it's still not a huge tax on my time, it is starting to pick up, now that the teacher has decided she wants us to post our work online. This means I actually have to do something. Sigh. Our tentative spring course offerings are up, however, so I know roughly what I'll be taking this spring. Right now it looks like I'll be taking three courses and a practicum, for a total of 11 credit hours. Literature for Adolescents, Technology Infusion, English Grammar, and the practicum. A busy semester, yes, but I'm so incredibly excited. Classes are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday afternoons/early evenings, with the exception of the grammar class, which is Tuesday/Thursday mornings. It's really weird to think about it - a full schedule like that is....real. More real than the one night a week I have class now, anyway. I'm actually doing this. In just a year, I'll be in the middle of my last semester of coursework, getting ready to student teach the following semester. I can hardly wait.

Dempsey is getting ready for her Intermediate class final exam in obedience school. She's already been signed up for Advanced, and I found out yesterday that they actually include the CGC test in the Advanced class, so yay for that! In other pet news, Dodger is officially my kitten now, and he is slowly but surely acclimating to life as an inside cat. Tragically, Dempsey and I came home from obedience school two weeks ago and found Twist in the road in front of the house. I cried and cried and still feel terrible that I couldn't save both of them, but at least now Dodger has a safe and happy home.

I leave Friday for a weekend in Maine! I'm participating in the Dempsey Challenge 5K with two of my aunts. I may not survive, considering that I am very much not in top running shape right now. However, I'm very much looking forward to the weekend. We're flying up Friday, going whale-watching on Saturday, and then the run is Sunday. I feel like I have a thousand and one things to get done before Friday...it's really overwhelming and even though we've been planning this since January, I feel like it came up way too fast.

Also in the category of "Imminent Events For Which I Am Completely Not Ready", my birthday is Tuesday. I'm currently refusing to celebrate it. I will just stay 22 until I die, or have a life, whichever comes first.

With that said, I've got a writing project that's *this* close to being done (I'd planned to have it done last Thursday, but then stuff happened), and I'm determined to get it done today, tomorrow at the absolute latest, so I'm off to work on that now - hopefully next time I post here, I'll be either in or just home from Maine!

Monday's Musings

I was writing other stuff last night (yay for no more devastating life events sapping motivation writer's block!), so I missed writing my sundries on Sunday. We'll call them musings on Monday instead...just for today.

• I was late for work this morning. Truthfully, I overslept. While I was frantically getting ready, I discovered I had a real excuse when an inexplicable wave of nausea swept over me. No, I am not pregnant. But I did feel sick all day at work. My back is also killing me. I really hope I'm not getting swine flu. Seriously--we've had our first case reported at the university where I work. Although, apparently the women in my family are hardy to swine flu. In the 1918 pandemic, my great-grandmother's mother, two young brothers, and infant twin brothers all died, but she and her two sisters (plus one brother who died a year or two later) survived. The things you learn from old cemeteries...

• My first grad school class was last Thursday night. It's not going to be bad at all. Half of the grade comes from a writing portfolio, half from group presentations. I have to write for two thirty-minute sessions twice a week, not counting in-class writing, which I think is going to be very good for me. The group work, not so much; I hate group work. I think it stems from being the smart kid who always got put in the groups with the...less dedicated...kids so that she could do all the work she could help them. My homework for this week was to pick out a few pages of writing from a favorite writer and bring them in to share. I picked a passage from Alice Munro's "Walker Brothers Cowboy", which is the story that introduced me to the brilliance that is Alice Munro.
  

• I have been remarkably unhappy with my singleness lately. This isn't really news, but I've really felt it the past few weeks. I think it hit me most last week, when I heard rumors that a friend of mine is discussing engagement. I've kind of seen it coming for a while, but it's still hard to hear. I'm a little bitter about engagements in general among my friends, because..you know, at some point I'd like it to be my turn (I mean really, I'm turning 23 in a month and I've never kissed anyone. Pathetic much?), but this one really hurt, considering I spent a very long time with very strong feelings for this friend, and they've never really completely gone away. I think I've known in my heart of hearts for a very long time that it wasn't going to happen and (mostly) resigned myself to staying friends...which I do want, I want him in my life no matter what the role...but it's still hard. I think it's the never knowing, the what might have beens, that bother me most. I'll get through it, and I really am happy for him if he's finally found the right person...it would just be nice if I could eventually catch a break, too.

• Along that vein...at the same time that I'm so unhappily single, I have matchmakers coming out of the woodworks right now. Okay, really, just two. 1) My aunt has a new friend at her school who has a younger brother, single, my age, employed. All good, yes? Doesn't really party (according to my aunt and his sister), unlike most people our age. Even better. Did I mention that I found out (after reluctantly agreeing to a potential set-up [I may hate being single, but I'm very shy and subsequently wary of blind dates]) that I went to elementary/intermediate/middle school with this guy? Yeah. That was special. So I still said "okay", but according to what his sister told my aunt, he's very shy, too and is dragging his feet about it. I'm okay with that, honestly. I don't think either of us sound like people who appreciate blind dates, and to be honest...I need someone who's not shy. I need a complement to my personality, not a twin. 2) A friend at work recently got a new position in another department (same division), and has hinted at setting me up with the other new hire. I've politely declined her efforts - I know I must sound picky, whining about being single and spurning efforts by others to fix me up - but while I think Other New Hire and I could be friendly, I don't hink it would work beyond that, and I'm very, very hesitant to get mixed up in workplace relationships again (see previous bullet point about possibly-soon-to-be-engaged friend.)

• I very rarely see Agnes anymore. The kittens, however, are freaking adorable and spoiled. They greet me every morning, at lunchtime, and in the evening when I get home from work, meowing and demanding to be fed. I bought them a plastic food dish at Target this weekend so that they don't have to eat off paper plates anymore. Dodger let me pet him tonight for more than .0002 of a second, and Twist will almost run all the way across the yard to me. I really wish I had a place of my own to live. I would have those two snatched up in a heartbeat, thrown in a cat carrier, and whisked off to the vet for a thorough check/vaccination/neutering, and then brought into the luxury and safety of indoor cathood.

• I started a new countdown on the blog, over there somewhere ---->. My last day of work...right now, I'm planning for my last physical day to be January 11, which is the first day of class for the spring semester. If all goes as planned, I should have a week or two of vacation time left over, so I can be "on vacation" until my official last day toward the end of January. I don't intend to make this plan known until class schedules are up for the spring and I know exactly what I'm taking/when. Honestly, though? I'm so, so ready for a break. Even full-time coursework and a practicum in the school system will be such a welcome relief. I can't wait to have time and a relatively stress-free existence (you know, until the week before finals when I realize that I've put off everything until the last minute again.)

• I have 437 things/projects I need to be working on. Some of them are highly pressing (e.g., finalizing our trip to Maine in October), some of them need to be prioritized and evaluated in terms of practicality (e.g., another consult for surgery in ATL - ideal while I still have good insurance, but ugh, the documenation), some I've put off forever and desperately miss (e.g., writing), and some are just mundane but no less essential (e.g., laundry). I need about 12 more hours of the day (and I'd probably spend at least 10 of those sleeping.)
  

The Story of My Life

My first grad school class is Thursday. Tomorrow is my last day before a sizable portion of my free time must be set aside for learning the pedagogy of composition (grades 4-12). Given how busy we've been lately, I'm mostly okay with my decision to only take one class this semester. I don't forsee any issues with completing the program on time, even with this minimal enrollment.

But yeah, the point was: I have tonight and one more night before class starts.

So of course, tonight, after literally months of being too emotionally, physically, and mentally drained to write anything...my writer's block has lifted.

Awesome.

Oh well. It's one class. Hopefully I'll adjust quickly and everything will balance out. Almost four months exactly before I can turn in my notice....yay!

“What greater gift than the love of a cat?” - Charles Dickens

The kittens and mother cat are doing so well next door. The kittens are no longer emaciated, though the mother is still a little thinner than I'd like. I think she's pretty much weaned the kittens though; she hisses if they run up to her expectantly, though she does still love them and groom them.

All three know my voice and come running when they hear me call. Of course, they come running, leap onto the porch and then cower in fear, as though saying, "Food! Yes food! Oh wait--that means she's here, and that's scary--but FOOD!" Today, I lay on the porch and took pictures. While I was there (and very, very still), the mother crept toward me to sniff the empty can of food (the kittens tend to eat all the wet food before she gets any--I have to sneak her some on the side when they're distracted). She was within six inches of me--the closest yet!

Gratuitous cute kittens pictures follow:

Agnes

Twist
(distinguishable by the two white whiskers and tuft of white on his chest)

Dodger,
who is quite artful in the act of evading me

Dodger and Twist, bellies full with yummy food, deign to allow my presence.

Two Weeks and Counting

I start graduate school a week from tomorrow. This fact is slightly terrifying, but at the same time, exciting. I think I'm almost more excited for January, which will bring my last day of work at my current job, but for now, I'm looking forward to this new challenge.

I met with my advisor on Monday, where I learned some very surprising and unexpected news. Because I took a handful of education courses as an undergrad, they're going to waive a whole block (10 credit hours) of my degree requirements. The (minor) downside is that in waiving those hours, I will have to pick up two graduate-level classes in my subject field (English) in order to have enough graduate hours to complete the degree, but I don't forsee a problem taking a few more classes in a field I love. I also have to take a linguistics course, since I didn't have one as an undergrad, and that class can count as one of the two grad-level English courses I need.

As it stands, I will complete the coursework next fall (2010) and do student teaching in spring of 2011. I will start completing the practicum requirements in spring 2010, and I can either go full time spring 2010/fall 2010 and have the whole summer off, or go half-time spring, summer, and fall. I think I'll make my decision once the class schedules come out...since I get to take another English class, I'm planning to be a little picky about it and take a class I think I'll enjoy, rather than just taking one to satisfy the requirement.

Currently, I am registered to take one class, Teaching Composition for Grades 4-12. I'm going to try to get an override for a second class, Literature for Adolescents. It will be class two days a week, if I am able to get both of those classes...and maybe three days a week, if Dempsey winds up going to the Tuesday night obedience school Intermediate Class! I'm a little anxious about finding the time to fit everything in. It's not like I have much of a life outside of work, but for at least the next month or so, it will still be peak, and I feel really run down. I'm exhausted after the ups and downs of the last few months, and I really just want to sleep for about a week.

But four months. Four months, and it will all be okay. Four more months of work. Four more months until I can leave this job, and then, while there may not be tons of money, there will at least be time again. I can hardly wait.

Sundries on Sunday - August 2

Seriously? It's August already? I have no idea how that happened, but okay. It's been a crazy week at work; it's still our peak season, but hopefully we're down to the last month before things start to settle again. I have a few longer blog posts in the works, more substantial that my bullet point updates; hopefully I'll find time to finish them up sometime this week. But for now, the quick rundown of this week's sundries:

• My family left Friday to go back to Florida. I slept so well Friday night...until 10:30 Saturday morning. It was the first time I've slept, or so it seems, in a month. I do miss them, a little, but mostly, I'm glad to have some downtime again. I haven't had time to write, sleep, breathe, anything for the last month, and I'm looking forward to resuming a normal schedule.

• Of course, I don't really know what normal is anymore because...I'm starting graduate school in two weeks. I was accepted on Wednesday, and have an appointment during my lunch break tomorrow to meet with the program coordinator regarding my plan of study. I anticipate that I'll be taking 10 graduate hours this fall, while working 40 hours/week. Am I crazy? Quite possibly. But the thought of being done with this job in five short months? If all goes to plan (and I should know more after meeting with the program coordinator tomorrow), I should be done in Fall 2010. It's incredible to think that if I make it through this fall semester, I will be just one calendar year away from a Master's degree and teaching certificate (and hopefully, a job way better than the one I have now.)

• I'm making progress with the stray kittens/mother cat next door. I've given them names from Oliver Twist, both because of my own name and the fact that they're street urchins. I've called the mother Agnes, the gray kitten (who I haven't seen in several days, sadly) is Ollie (short for either Oliver or Olivia, since I don't know the gender), and the two black ones are Twist and Dodger. Twist is the bolder of the two kittens, and is the first to show up/start eating when I bring food. I can tell Twist and Dodger apart because Twist has two white whiskers. I can pet Twist very very carefully, and just today, Dodger took food from my hand (Twist has been doing that for a few days). Agnes is still very skittish, but today she consented to creep forward and eat some food while I was sitting less than three feet away (the kittens will come right up to me, as long as I don't make any sudden movements.) I think I'm getting too attached.

• Dempsey won the "puppy push-ups" contest in her obedience school class on Saturday. I heart my dog. She's going to have an extra week to practice for her final exam, since my friend Melanie's wedding is next weekend. Her test will be August 15. I really want her to take the Intermediate class, but I think I'm going to hold off until the next time it's being offered (after the August 15 start date). I'd rather let my bank account replenish after I pay tuition/books, as well as make sure I'll have the time for another class with her once my own grad classes have started. Of course, the drawback? The next class begins September 29. Yay for spending my birthday with my dog at obedience school.

• I have got to find the motivation to get back into a healthy routine. I put on about five pounds this month with my family home. I think I'm going to make a quick grocery store run after this episode of Cake Boss (my new guilty pleasure) and pick up a few staples. My other grandmother is also back from her vacation now, so I think it's time to hit the treadmill again. I'm going to shoot for 140 lbs. by the end of August.

• My weekend has been filled with wedding thoughts. In addition to Melanie's wedding next weekend, the home/life tour at Kelly's Korner has been wedding-themed for the past two weeks. (I really enjoy looking at the home tours, even though I can't participate, since my residence is decorated in retirement-home chic.) Throw in some Say Yes to the Dress and today's Cake Boss marathon, and I've been very much in a wedding state of mind. While it is sort of fun to plan and dream...mostly it just makes me sad. I'm tired of being lonely. I mean, in the grand scheme of things I'd rather wait for the right person than date someone just to date...but wherever the right person is, I wish he'd hurry up. I'm ready for a life and a future.

• While perusing half.com scouting out prospective textbooks, I found out that A Girl and Five Brave Horses has been reprinted. I am so ridiculously excited! Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken is one of my all time favorite movies, and I've wanted to read this book for years and years, but you could only find it with rare book dealers for hundreds of dollars. I just so happen to have a Barnes and Noble gift card I've been hoarding...and now I know just how to spend it.

I think I should go pack a lunch now, since I'm not getting a lunch break tomorrow. I was planning to make spaghetti, but I think I'm too lazy. Maybe I'll just pack a sandwich.

Sundries on Sunday - July 26

• I went swimming today for the first time in many many years. I am, apparently, an awful swimmer. However, I still managed 100 lengths of the pool. After this torture, I had dinner, and then went for a two mile walk with Dempsey.

• Speaking of Dempsey, she did very well in training yesterday. She also learned how to shake in about five minutes today; I'm very proud of her. Unfortunately, I just realized that her final class (as in, her final exam to pass beginner level) is on the same day, at the same time, as a friend's wedding out of town. Awesome. Looks like we'll have to schedule a make-up lesson to take her test.

• The interim manager of my department is out of the office for the next six business days. I am not thrilled. This is not the time of year to be shorthanded. I would also really like it if my admissions application could be updated to "accepted" this week, please.

• We have enlisted the help of my former pastor (the one I like, not the one we have now) to mediate this whole confronting-my-lying-mother-about-the-BioFather-deception thing. It's still in the planning stages. I'm just...ugh. I just want it over.

• Apparently, ElderlyCousin who inhabits my grandparents' rental house expressed to my grandfather that she "doesn't know how much longer [she] can handle" living alone. I don't know if she meant it or if that was just elderly-person-seeking-attention-and-conversation talk, but I would be insanely happy if I actually got to move out sometime in the near future.

• My family is still in town until Friday. I enjoy having them here, mostly, but I'll kind of be thankful for a little quiet....for a day or two, and then the retirement home will be driving me crazy again. I'm looking forward to actually having time and space again.
  

• I'm really tired...yet, I will probably be up for another hour because I'm three or four chapters away from finishing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the fourth time. I'm still in denial about Remus and Tonks. Seriously, JK Rowling. You could have killed Harry or Ron (or Hermione, if I had to let her go, too), but all I asked was that McGonagall, Remus, and Tonks lived. That's it. And you killed 2 of the 3. Curse you, JKR. (What? No, I'm not overly emotionally invested in fictional characters...why ever would you say such a thing?)
  

Turning the Page

I feel like I'm at a turning point in my life. I'm still not accepted for grad school yet, but it's really just a matter of time. It's not hard to get into this school. It's still not what I really want to be doing, but at the same time, I'm very excited about the change in direction. I miss being in school. I miss learning. I miss doing something I enjoy.

I hope that this is the start of something good, something better. I hope that this is the decision that leads to the bad luck and omnipresent rainclouds going away. In some ways, it's harder going to work right now...it's peak, it's crazy-busy and high-stress, and of course my family is in town but I can't spend time with them because I'm working 8-5...and yet, in some ways, it's also easier because I know that this is the home stretch. For better or worse, I have every intention of being through with that job in January. Happy day.

I'm hoping that this change is one of many. It's going to take a little over a year to do my Master's. I hope that somehow, I can find a way to move out during that time. I'm not exactly keen on the idea of living with my grandparents for another year and a half.

It's going to be a new normal, I know that. It may take a little while to settle into working full time and attending grad school full time, and as soon as I get used to it, I'll have to adjust to full time school with only sporadic working once I leave my current position. Still, I am hopeful for this time as it approaches.

I remember the six months after graduation, before I got my job. It was a very anxious time of uncertainty, not having a job, not having a direction. It's very nice to have the income that I do now, but I think I'll adjust fairly well to not being employed full-time again. I'll have a direction, a purpose for it this time, and I think that will make all the difference. I cannot begin to describe the weight that lifts every time I think about the freedom that I'll have in six short months.

Yes, there will be classes and studying and papers and hours observing in the classroom. But there will also be time.

Time to write. To read. To run, to cook, to play with my dog. Time to plan, time to do my laundry, time to prepare, time to rest, time to be. I'm really looking forward to just having time to sleep.

I'll be 23 in two and a half months. I had wanted so much more for this point in my life than I have now...but for the first time in a while, I feel like I'm close to actually having something more. It's not ideal. It's not exactly what I imagined, dreamed, or wanted...but I'm hopeful for it just the same.

I think that's the difference. I have hope again, and that's something that's been missing from my life for a while now. I'm glad it's back.

Here Kitty, Kitty

I have a new project. Look what I found living at the abandoned house next door:


I left food out for them yesterday, and they let me sit about 15-20 feet away and watch them. This morning, the kittens weren't around, but I left food and about 20 minutes later, it was all gone. I left more, but when I left for obedience school this afternoon, it was still there. About thirty minutes ago, I was looking out the front door and saw an adult cat and one of the black kittens (there are two black and one tabby) on the wheelchair ramp to my house...they're getting brave! I went to get the camera, but they were gone, so I grabbed some canned food and went outside. Of course they bolted and hid as soon as they saw me, but I put the food out and took my spot in the grass about ten feet away, which they seem to feel is a tolerable distance.



First, the mother cat crept out. She bolted with the flash of the camera and didn't come back out; she is very skittish and spooks very easily. One of the black kittens came out next and watched me warily for a few seconds before it went for the food. A few minutes later, the tabby kitten came out. No sign of the second black kitten (at least, not since it went scurrying under the house when it saw me.) Then, this other adult cat showed up. I hadn't seen it before tonight, when it was with the kittens on our wheelchair ramp. The mother is the tabby in the the picture above (I've seen her nursing the kittens and she's the one who calls to them when I bring food.) No clue who this cat is, but it helped itself to some food:



After I lost half of my blood to the mosquitoes, I had to come back inside, but the black kitten was still happily eating when I left. On an unrelated note, has anyone ever used salicylic acid on mosquito bites? I tried it on a whim a few weeks ago after receiving quite a few bites, and it actually works pretty well.

Puppy Love

I had a remarkably good hair day today, considering the miserable Alabama humidity and heat of the summer. I decided to take advantage by playing with the camera. I've really wanted to get a picture of me and Dempsey for quite some time now. Not the easiest task when we're talking self-portraiture and a very uncooperative dog. It was a minor miracle that our first two tries looked like this:



Of course, twelve seconds later:


Thanks, Demps. Off to go get ready to take her to obedience school.